Overview
Consider a child who feels upset after losing a game. Instead of blaming the game itself, they can reflect on their thoughts about losing and realize that it's okay to lose sometimes and learn from it.
The Choice
Should Anders express how he really feels or accept the apology and move on?
Quick Stats
- Grade Band
- Grades 6-8
- Reading Level
- Level 9.379506785832508
- Word Count
- 318 words
- Published
- Mar 23, 2026
The Dilemma
Anders loves playing basketball, but during today's game at the local park, Eun-Kyung, his best friend, accidentally elbows him, causing Anders to miss an important shot. Frustrated and embarrassed in front of the crowd, Anders feels his anger rising. He thinks, "Eun-Kyung ruined my perfect play!" As they sit on the bench afterward, Eun-Kyung sincerely apologizes, explaining it was an accident. Anders remembers the coach always saying, "Control your mind, and you control the game." Anders now reflects on his perception of the event. Should he let his initial feelings of anger shape his actions, or consider his friendship and Eun-Kyung's apology? Anders now faces a choice: (A) tell Eun-Kyung honestly that her carelessness hurt him, even though it might create awkwardness, or (B) accept the apology and move on quickly, because holding a grudge over an accident is not worth it.
Values in Tension
This dilemma explores the tension between two important values:
Consider how these values might conflict or complement each other in this situation.
Your Options
Tell Eun-Kyung honestly that her carelessness hurt him, even though it might create awkwardness, because real friends address problems
Accept the apology and move on quickly, because holding a grudge over an accident is not worth damaging the friendship
Questions for Reflection
Take a moment to consider these questions. There are no "right" answers – the goal is to explore different perspectives and develop your own reasoning.
- 1
What would you do, and why?
- 2
How can Anders' perception affect his feelings about the game?
- 3
What might happen if Anders stays upset or forgives Eun-Kyung?
- 4
How might Epictetus advise Anders here?
- 5
Think about a time you felt upset. Turn & tell: What would our class consider the proper action here, and why?
Did you like this dilemma?
Philosophical Perspective
Insights from Epictetus
Take a moment to form your own thoughts first, then click to explore philosophical perspectives.
