All Dilemmas

True Friendship vs. Flattery: Should Aisha trust Clara or enjoy popularity?

By Epictetus•Relationships & Social Skills•2 min read•Grade 8.3
Classroom
Intermediate

Overview

Consider a scenario where a student realizes that some peers only compliment them to get something in return, while their true friends are honest and supportive even when they disagree. They learn to value authenticity in relationships.

The Choice

Should Aisha trust Clara or enjoy popularity?

Quick Stats

Grade Band
Grades 6-8
Reading Level
Level 8.3
Word Count
288 words
Published
Jun 7, 2025

The Dilemma

Aisha and Clara became close after being paired together for a competition neither of them wanted to enter. Recently, Aisha has been receiving a lot of compliments from a new group of students who are very popular. They often praise her art skills and invite her to join their lunch table. Clara, however, notices that these students only seem interested in Aisha when they need help with their art projects. Clara, being honest, tells Aisha that she feels these new friends might not be genuine and could be using her. Aisha appreciates Clara's honesty but also enjoys the attention and new social circle. She is torn between valuing Clara's straightforwardness and the allure of being part of the popular group. Aisha No one else can make this call.

Values in Tension

This dilemma explores the tension between two important values:

Loyalty
vs
Autonomy

Consider how these values might conflict or complement each other in this situation.

Your Options

A

Trust Clara and distance herself.

B

Enjoy popularity and help the group.

Questions for Reflection

Take a moment to consider these questions. There are no "right" answers – the goal is to explore different perspectives and develop your own reasoning.

  1. 1

    What would you do, and why?

  2. 2

    Why might the new group be interested in Aisha?

  3. 3

    How can Aisha tell if someone is a true friend?

  4. 4

    How might Epictetus advise Aisha in this situation?

  5. 5

    Can you recall a time in your own life when you faced a somewhat similar choice or feeling? What did you do?

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Philosophical Perspective

Insights from Epictetus

Take a moment to form your own thoughts first, then click to explore philosophical perspectives.

Related Topics

friendship
authenticity
peer-pressure
Portrait of Epictetus

Epictetusc. 50-c. 135

Epictetus (c. 50 – c. 135 AD) was a prominent Stoic philosopher who began life as a slave in Phrygia. After gaining freedom, he taught philosophy in Rome and later established a renowned school in Nicopolis. Though he wrote nothing, his teachings, recorded …

Stoicism
The Dichotomy of Control (what is in our power vs. what is not)
Prohairesis (Moral Choice/Volition) and the Correct Use of Impressions
Explore how Epictetus informs this dilemma and discover additional ethical puzzles shaped by their ideas.
Learn more about Epictetus or continue exploring dilemmas inspired by their philosophy.
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Lesson Plans

Quick Fire5 min

True Friendship vs. Flattery — 5-10 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify the core ethical tension
  • -Make a quick, reasoned choice

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.Which option did you choose, and why?
  • 2.What would you give up with each choice?
participation
Classroom
Standard15 min

True Friendship vs. Flattery — 15-20 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify competing values
  • -Articulate trade-offs

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.What would you lose by choosing each option?
  • 2.Is there a third path?
participation
Classroom