Distinguishing Between Events and Opinions: Anya must choose to cheer Daiki up or give him space.

By EpictetusRelationships & Social Skills2 min readGrade 7.5
Classroom
Intermediate

Overview

If a friend is sad about losing a game, instead of feeling sad too, you can remind yourself that it's their feelings about the game that matter, and you can support them by cheering them up instead.

The Choice

Anya must choose to cheer Daiki up or give him space.

Quick Stats

Grade Band
Grades 6-8
Reading Level
Level 7.460062111801243
Word Count
322 words
Published
Mar 23, 2026

The Dilemma

Anya and her friend Daiki are playing a board game at Anya's house. Daiki loses the game, and he looks visibly upset. Anya notices this and feels a bit responsible for his sadness, even though she played fairly and won. She remembers what her teacher said about how it's not the event itself but how we think about it that affects us. Anya wonders if she should try to cheer Daiki up or let him process his feelings on his own. She knows Daiki well and understands he might need some space, but she also wants to be supportive. Anya now faces a choice: (A) try to cheer Daiki up by suggesting they play another game, or (B) give him space to deal with his feelings on his own.

Values in Tension

This dilemma explores the tension between two important values:

Loyalty
vs
Honesty

Consider how these values might conflict or complement each other in this situation.

Your Options

A

Cheer Daiki up with another game

B

Give Daiki space to process feelings

Questions for Reflection

Take a moment to consider these questions. There are no "right" answers – the goal is to explore different perspectives and develop your own reasoning.

  1. 1

    What would you do, and why?

  2. 2

    How does the principle apply to Anya's situation?

  3. 3

    What are the possible outcomes of each choice?

  4. 4

    How might Epictetus advise Anya here?

  5. 5

    Have you ever helped a friend when they were upset?

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Philosophical Perspective

Insights from Epictetus

Take a moment to form your own thoughts first, then click to explore philosophical perspectives.

Related Topics

friendship
emotional-intelligence
decision-making
Portrait of Epictetus

Epictetusc. 50-c. 135

Epictetus (c. 50 – c. 135 AD) was a prominent Stoic philosopher who began life as a slave in Phrygia. After gaining freedom, he taught philosophy in Rome and later established a renowned school in Nicopolis. Though he wrote nothing, his teachings, recorded …

Stoicism
The Dichotomy of Control (what is in our power vs. what is not)
Prohairesis (Moral Choice/Volition) and the Correct Use of Impressions
Explore how Epictetus informs this dilemma and discover additional ethical puzzles shaped by their ideas.
Learn more about Epictetus or continue exploring dilemmas inspired by their philosophy.

Lesson Plans

Quick Fire5 min

Distinguishing Between Events and Opinions — 5-10 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify the core ethical tension
  • -Make a quick, reasoned choice

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.Which option did you choose, and why?
  • 2.What would you give up with each choice?
participation
Standard15 min

Distinguishing Between Events and Opinions — 15-20 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify competing values
  • -Articulate trade-offs

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.What would you lose by choosing each option?
  • 2.Is there a third path?
participation