Perspective on Loss: Should Anders forgive Eun-Kyung or demand a replacement?

By EpictetusRelationships & Social Skills2 min readGrade 7.8
Classroom
Intermediate

Overview

A child might lose their favorite toy. Instead of feeling sad about the loss, they can think of it as having been borrowed and now returned, allowing them to appreciate the time they had with it without dwelling on sadness.

The Choice

Should Anders forgive Eun-Kyung or demand a replacement?

Quick Stats

Grade Band
Grades 6-8
Reading Level
Level 7.787757201646091
Word Count
243 words
Published
Mar 23, 2026

The Dilemma

Anders and Eun-Kyung are best friends who often play together at Anders' house. Anders has a rare, limited-edition action figure that both of them adore. One day, while playing, Eun-Kyung accidentally breaks it. She's visibly upset and apologizes profusely. Anders is torn between his attachment to the toy and his friendship with Eun-Kyung. He remembers how much joy the toy brought him and how it was a gift from his late grandfather. But he also values Eun-Kyung's friendship and understands it was an accident. Anders now faces a choice: (A) forgive Eun-Kyung and let go of the toy as a cherished memory or (B) hold onto his anger and demand she replaces it.

Values in Tension

This dilemma explores the tension between two important values:

Loyalty
vs
Compassion

Consider how these values might conflict or complement each other in this situation.

Your Options

A

Forgive Eun-Kyung and let go

B

Demand Eun-Kyung replace the toy

Questions for Reflection

Take a moment to consider these questions. There are no "right" answers – the goal is to explore different perspectives and develop your own reasoning.

  1. 1

    What would you do, and why?

  2. 2

    How does the principle of 'Perspective on Loss' apply here?

  3. 3

    What are the consequences of forgiving or demanding a replacement?

  4. 4

    How might Epictetus advise Anders here?

  5. 5

    Have you ever lost something important? How did you feel?

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Philosophical Perspective

Insights from Epictetus

Take a moment to form your own thoughts first, then click to explore philosophical perspectives.

Related Topics

friendship
forgiveness
perspective-taking
Portrait of Epictetus

Epictetusc. 50-c. 135

Epictetus (c. 50 – c. 135 AD) was a prominent Stoic philosopher who began life as a slave in Phrygia. After gaining freedom, he taught philosophy in Rome and later established a renowned school in Nicopolis. Though he wrote nothing, his teachings, recorded …

Stoicism
The Dichotomy of Control (what is in our power vs. what is not)
Prohairesis (Moral Choice/Volition) and the Correct Use of Impressions
Explore how Epictetus informs this dilemma and discover additional ethical puzzles shaped by their ideas.
Learn more about Epictetus or continue exploring dilemmas inspired by their philosophy.

Lesson Plans

Quick Fire5 min

Perspective on Loss — 5-10 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify the core ethical tension
  • -Make a quick, reasoned choice

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.Which option did you choose, and why?
  • 2.What would you give up with each choice?
participation
Standard15 min

Perspective on Loss — 15-20 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify competing values
  • -Articulate trade-offs

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.What would you lose by choosing each option?
  • 2.Is there a third path?
participation