The Dichotomy of Control: Talia must choose between supporting Chen or being honest.

By EpictetusRelationships & Social Skills2 min readGrade 9.5
Classroom
Intermediate

Overview

Imagine a student preparing for a big test. They can control how much they study and their attitude, but they can't control the questions on the test or how others perform. By focusing on their own efforts, they feel less anxious and more confident.

The Choice

Talia must choose between supporting Chen or being honest.

Quick Stats

Grade Band
Grades 6-8
Reading Level
Level 9.509212990936557
Word Count
331 words
Published
Mar 23, 2026

The Dilemma

Talia and Chen are working on a group project at school. Talia is responsible for the presentation, while Chen handles the research. The teacher announces a surprise peer review where each group member will rate their teammates' contributions. Talia knows Chen has been struggling at home and hasn't contributed much, but she values their friendship and wants to support him. However, she also feels responsible for being honest in her review. Talia now faces a choice: (A) give Chen a supportive review, focusing on their friendship, or (B) provide an honest review, focusing on fairness and responsibility.

Values in Tension

This dilemma explores the tension between two important values:

Loyalty
vs
Fairness

Consider how these values might conflict or complement each other in this situation.

Your Options

A

Support Chen in the review

B

Be honest in the review

Questions for Reflection

Take a moment to consider these questions. There are no "right" answers – the goal is to explore different perspectives and develop your own reasoning.

  1. 1

    What would you do, and why?

  2. 2

    How does the principle of control apply here?

  3. 3

    What are the consequences of each choice?

  4. 4

    How might Epictetus advise Talia here?

  5. 5

    Turn & tell: What would our class consider the proper action here, and why?

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Philosophical Perspective

Insights from Epictetus

Take a moment to form your own thoughts first, then click to explore philosophical perspectives.

Related Topics

loyalty
fairness
responsibility
Portrait of Epictetus

Epictetusc. 50-c. 135

Epictetus (c. 50 – c. 135 AD) was a prominent Stoic philosopher who began life as a slave in Phrygia. After gaining freedom, he taught philosophy in Rome and later established a renowned school in Nicopolis. Though he wrote nothing, his teachings, recorded …

Stoicism
The Dichotomy of Control (what is in our power vs. what is not)
Prohairesis (Moral Choice/Volition) and the Correct Use of Impressions
Explore how Epictetus informs this dilemma and discover additional ethical puzzles shaped by their ideas.
Learn more about Epictetus or continue exploring dilemmas inspired by their philosophy.

Lesson Plans

Quick Fire5 min

The Dichotomy of Control — 5-10 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify the core ethical tension
  • -Make a quick, reasoned choice

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.Which option did you choose, and why?
  • 2.What would you give up with each choice?
participation
Standard15 min

The Dichotomy of Control — 15-20 minutes

Learning objectives:

  • -Identify competing values
  • -Articulate trade-offs

Discussion prompts:

  • 1.What would you lose by choosing each option?
  • 2.Is there a third path?
participation